Dear Jackass

Dear, Long Lash Wanderer

Thank you for the question. While it is a boring one, I will answer. People don’t take accountability for the same reason no one claims a fart. It wasn’t me. It was someone else.

This reminds me of many times my friend Jim and I would go to dinner after work on the weekdays. We would get stupid drunk and go to the nearest Target and take turns crop dusting everyone in the aisles. I won that competition by almost shitting my pants. Is it a win or a loss if you shit them? I feel like this is one of those–which came first, the chicken or the egg questions…no one will ever know. Back to accountability–

The real reason no one takes accountability is because they’re still in diapers. They’re still on the tit. They refuse to grow up. You can find them in their mother’s and grandmother’s basements, playing video games or becoming the next greatest rapper. You can also find them at the end of every excuse you’ve ever heard in your life about anything and everything. So why don’t they take accountability? Because they never had to! And just like shitting your pants: it won’t happen unless you force it.

If you’ve ever been to the Target in Canton, Ohio, I only have one thing to say: it wasn’t me. It was Jim. lol.