Dear Jackass
Hello, Desperate!! If you are reading this, you've probably run out of options. Congratulations and Welcome to rock bottom!! Let me help you–because you clearly need it!!! jackassadvises@gmail.com Click on the About link below for the not-so-fine print/disclaimer.
recent posts
- Why does my boss always answer a question with another question?! Like why make it more complicated than it needs to be?!
- How and when do you just give up?
- Podcast Episode: False Phallusies. Why do men feel it’s necessary to flaunt their phallus by mean
- Hey, out of nowhere–on a scale of 1 to “backing your dad’s car into the steps and bending the door the opposite way” how’s your parking game holding up these days?
- False Phallusies. Why do men feel it’s necessary to flaunt their phallus by means of pictures? Just recently encountered what I thought was a nice guy, exchanged numbers, and chatted a few times via text. He sent me a pic of his face, and I responded “very handsome.” He responded back with “If you think I’m handsome…” next thing I know–BAM!–hit in the face with a phallus. How is one to find a decent human this day and age? Best regards, Frustrated in phallus land.
Category: Uncategorized
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Dear Confused in the Corporate World: Let me start my answer with questions. Is this boss a man? I would bet my (jack)ass on it! What types of questions are you asking him? Are you asking him in person or virtually?If you are asking for a raise, and he responds with a question–he doesn’t think…
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Dear Quitter: I have questions. And always answers. It depends, my friend. What are we giving up? If it’s meth–right after that last tooth falls out. You don’t want your dental bill to be more expensive because they have to remove any first. Get ready for new pearly whites! And don’t forget a gold one!…
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Pip: Welcome to Dear Jackass — where the advice is unsolicited, the problems are deeply human, and today someone got a face full of evidence that modern dating is not going well. Mara: erica1837 is behind the advice desk this episode, and we have one letter that cuts right to it — unsolicited photos, the…
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Dear Backseat Driver: You have quite the memory. (Although I don’t know how anyone could forget about that.) That was twenty-five years ago! If you recall, that was not my fault. Aside from the fact I am a donkey and shouldn’t have been driving in the first place, I wasn’t the one who left the…
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Dear Frustrated: Nice play with words here. Very clever. Are you a writer of sorts or just passing through? I have some questions and comments. Before I do, I must say…be glad you were only figuratively hit in the face with a phallus. I imagine it’s even more insulting literally. 1. Your first problem is…
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Dear Curious George This is a question I am often asked, but here it goes. People often say they would want to be a bird so they could shit all over people they don’t like–or maybe even people they do. That’s so cliche and lacks imagination. They also clearly never thought that one through. I…
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Dear Body Builder: Are people still doing that? CrossFit is so 2017. I thought everyone left that for Planet Fitness sometime around the pandemic. Then they can work on their tan and bring all their friends for $20/month. And let’s not forget the free pizza. There are a few roads I can take you down…
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Dear Scrooge: What trailer park do you live in? They have yards? And a chimney?!? That’s fancy! I know these people you speak of. They go to Walmart in their finest pajamas and never clean the dog shit from their yard. They don’t mow the grass until they get a citation, and there are cigarette…
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Dear Peg Bundy: When did you move to Wisteria Lane? Didn’t you know this is one of those seven deadly sins. Thou shalt not let thy grass go untreated. You sinner! Where do we begin? Where DON”T we begin?!? I know these neighbors. The woman goes to church every Sunday while the man drinks beer…
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Dear, Mrs. Garrett I am guessing by your question, you are not or haven’t ever been a teacher. I am also guessing you didn’t ride the short bus or sit in classes with kids who did. There’s a short answer for this, but that wouldn’t be fun, would it? I shall take the long way–you…
Dear Jackass 